Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Don't Want to Sleep

Something is quite wrong with me tonight. Just don't really feel like sleeping, although it is already 3:37am on the clock.

Some urge to write, but the mind is blank when facing the edit box of the blog editor. It is not blank from having no thoughts, but it is too many thoughts competing for the processing time that my mind can spare for each of them, that left me with no coherent thoughts tonight, not unlike the language I am currently spewing in this post.

Rock music in my ears blasting, enjoying a good dose of May Day. This is really a band that gave me a lot of inspiration and encouragements since the time I 'discovered' them. Songs that talk about love but not just about love. Love is all that matters in this world, according to some rockers.

I say yes and no.

Love is important to me. Especially now that I have a cute little 3-year-old that brings joy to me and my wife. I have never felt such a strong love before, this love for my family - my son and my wife. The last few days, especially the last few days, when we spent a perfect weekend just accompanying one another, is something I would want to etch into my memory.

But love is also not all. There are too many things to worry about. Climate change, peak oil, diseases, economic bubble, injustice, unfairness .... all weighs down people. The world is changing so rapidly that it takes much more than before to keep up and go on.

Too many things I want to do. Too many things I want to say to people that matter to me. Too many thoughts that I should be processing. Too many things.... too many things.....too little time.... how can I bear to sleep?